Couples Counseling in Bethesda, MD
For couples who’ve lost the thread — and want to find it again.
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“Our task now is not to fix the blame for the past, but to fix the course for the future.”
When Two People Who Love Each Other
Can't Seem to Get It Right
Most couples who come to see me aren’t in free fall. They haven’t stopped caring about each other. What they’ve lost is the ease — the sense that they’re actually on the same team. Somewhere between the jobs and the kids and the mortgage and the years, the distance crept in. And now the same conversations keep going the same way, and nobody knows how to make them go differently.
That’s not a character flaw. It’s what happens when two people stop being intentional about their relationship and start running on autopilot. The good news is that it’s also one of the most treatable things I work with. Couples who come in stuck and frustrated leave with something they didn’t think they’d get back: each other.
I’ve trained in the three major schools of couples therapy and have spent well over 10,000 hours working with couples over 30 years of practice. My approach is direct. I’m not going to sit quietly while you talk past each other for 50 minutes. We’re going to figure out what’s actually happening and do something about it.
How I Work
Warm but direct
Insight meets action
Laughter is allowed
What Couples Counseling Actually Looks Like
A loose four-phase arc — not a rigid script, but this is roughly how it goes.
Find the pattern
Every couple has one. A way the conflict starts, escalates, and ends that plays out the same way every time, even when the topic changes. We start by identifying yours.
Understand what's underneath it
Arguments about dishes and schedules are rarely about dishes and schedules. We go looking for what’s actually driving the pattern.
Learn to hear each other differently
New ways of saying the hard things. New ways of listening. Small shifts that turn a conversation that used to end badly into one that moves somewhere.
Build on it
We consolidate what’s changed and look forward. What does the relationship you actually want look like — and what will it take to keep building it?
Has there been an affair?
Affair recovery is its own kind of work — more intensive, more specific, and with a different set of challenges than most couples counseling. If that’s what you’re dealing with, I have a separate page that addresses it directly.
Is There Really Hope for Us?
Not sure whether couples counseling is right for you? This free report answers the questions couples most often ask before picking up the phone.
Start Here
The hardest part is usually making that first call. Whether you can name exactly what’s wrong or just know something isn’t right — reach out for a free 20-minute consultation. We’ll talk, figure out what’s going on, and decide together if working together makes sense.