The good news is that your feelings about the affair won’t last forever (hard as that might be to believe right now). The roller coaster of emotions that both of you are on is just your minds way of trying to make sense of something so shocking.

In fact, the majority of couples who experience an affair remain together. The strongest predictor of success is what you say and how and when you say it. Research has shown that if you talk about the affair in the right way you are roughly 60% more likely to stay together than if you don’t talk or talk very little.

I’ve been helping couples get beyond the trauma of infidelity since 1995. My mission is to not only help you to avoid all the pitfalls that have led others to divorce or stay in an unhappy marriage but to rebuild trust and connection. To laugh and have fun. To have great sex.  To help you see one another in a new light so that you can treat each other with the love that you both want and deserve.

Every couple is different but in essence affair recovery therapy can be broken down into 3 stages:

1. Getting through the immediate shock and trauma of the affair in ways that provide a foundation for healing
2. Working together to understand the marital affair: what it was about, what caused it and what you need to do to begin to rebuild your marriage.
3. Rebuilding your relationship

In practice, these aren’t truly stages that follow one another sequentially but are often interwoven together. For example, it’s often very difficult to get over the shock of an affair without having some shared understanding of what the underlying reasons for it are. It’s also difficult to get over the shock without making sure you make the time and effort to have fun together to remind you that rebuilding trust and your relationship happens through shared experience as much as through serious conversations.

Why Such a Strong Emphasis on Rebuilding the Relationship?

My immediate goal is to help you to recover from the affair, but the ultimate goal of my system is to help you recover your relationship.

Research has shown that the number one reason both men and women report themselves to have affairs is because of a loss of intimacy or connection in their marriage. Despite everything you may have heard, most people don’t have affairs for sex but rather to regain a sense of connection or of feeling valued and desired.

You might be able to get over the shock of the affair, but unless you relearn how to trust and become intimate with each other you most likely will end up with a shell of a relationship, sharing the same roof but not the same lives.

Because of this, I have developed a process based on scientific research and 25 plus years of experience of working with couples in distress that will provide you with some very simple tools to help you rebuild your relationship into something stronger than it was before.