Just why is it so hard to heal those wounds when you are supposed to be on the same team?
When you make a commitment like marriage or living together somewhere in the back of your head you think to yourself, “oh sure, there will be some challenging times, but we’ll get through them – we’re different.”
But as time goes by life somehow becomes more complicated than you expected.
Things like earning dual incomes, raising children, keeping a house up, and managing finances can leave you feeling more like business partners than lovers.
Then there are those nagging little fights that never seem to go away. Over time they seem to grow bigger and bigger until it gets to the point when you look at your partner and you can’t stop yourself from thinking things like:
“Why are we always fighting?”
“I can never count on you”
“We never get to do what I want to do”
“If you really loved me you’d know what I like”
“We never have sex anymore”.
“You’re just like my mother/father”
“Why am I with you?”
How could something that seemed so wonderful end up being this way?
I’ve trained in the 3 major schools of couples therapy, read countless books and spent well over 10,000 hours working with couples.
My mission is to help you begin to slow down and hear one another again. To laugh and have fun. To have great sex. To help you see one another in a new light so that you can treat each other with the love that you both want and deserve.
Couples therapy is usually a 4-phase process:
1) First We Discover what your main areas of conflict are and uncover the pattern your disagreements follow.
Relationships are typically like volleys in a tennis match with both of you responding to the other in ways that perpetuate the conflict.
Because of this emphasis is placed on each of you owning your role in your conflicts and breaking the patterns that have become so ingrained in your relationship.
2) Then We Uncover the roadblocks that are keeping you from connecting from one another and begin to shape them into something more positive. More often than not these roadblocks are ingrained ways of dealing with strife you each learned long ago that have outlived their usefulness.
3) Learn to Hear and Express Yourself in a Clearer Way You’ll discover new ways of expressing yourself and understanding your partner that overcome those outdated roadblocks.
4) Consolidate the gains you’ve made and work on your future plans as a couple.
Talking about the problems in session is only half the solution. You may have become so absorbed by your problems that you’ve forgotten how to have fun.
To help you with regain the joy and connection you used to share I’ll show you a number of very simple things that take only a few minutes a day that have been proven by scientific research to rebuild your bond to one another throughout all 4 phases of therapy.
For more information on how couples therapy may be helpful to you please feel free to download my special report “Is There Really Hope for Us? The Secret Ingredient that Can Heal Your Relationship”.
After over 25 years of practice I’m convinced that the hardest part of therapy is reaching out with that first phone call or first email to inquire about an appointment.
In all likelihood you came to this page because you’ve been struggling or suffering for quite awhile and you don’t seem to be able to find the answers on your own.
Chances are that if there were an answer you could find on your own you would have discovered it by now. Every day you wait makes it a little worse.
You don’t have to struggle on your own; give a call (240-485-6053) or drop a line (DrJoe@DrJoeJames.com) for a free 20-minute consultation where we can talk and figure out what the best course of action may be for you.