How many times has this happened to you? You come home and can see that your partner is stressed out and unhappy. You ask what’s wrong and s/he tells you about something crappy going on at work or with friends. Being the good partner that you are you offer your advice to your beloved only to […]

Many of you have heard me say that the longer you know your partner, the less you may really know him or her.  This is because of our tendency to interpret what our partner says based on our world view instead of taking the time to understand where your partner is coming from  Because of […]

The Harvard Negotiation Project spent years studying hundreds of conversations in great detail. They discovered that there is an underlying structure to every conversation. It turns out that no matter what the subject is, each conversation has three levels to it: What Happened Feelings Identity The reason conflicts go unresolved is that the vast majority […]

It’s hard to be married or in a committed relationship. How hard?  The numbers vary somewhat depending on which study you read, but it’s estimated that anywhere from 40% to 50% of first marriages end in divorce. The odds of a successful relationship get slimmer with each go round – roughly two out of three […]

When I tell people what I do one of the questions I’m most often asked is “why do couples seek therapy”.  The most common couples reason couples offer is communication, but in my experience the real reason most couples come to therapy is that they’ve forgotten how to be a couple with everything else being […]